“The Louder the Mouth, The Younger the Officemate”
The Business of Furniture - 09/26/16 Edition
Stephen Says Column

 Dear Stephen,

 
 I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m going crazy. In early September, I started my first real job in a design firm. I graduated from college last spring and was so excited to get a job in the industry. It’s been about six weeks now, and I don’t think I can take another day. The worst part of the whole situation is that I really love the work I’m doing, and my bosses are great, too. Everything should be perfect, except I share an office with an older worker, who is impossible.
 
 We are a fairly small firm, so some junior designers and one or two administrative workers have to share offices. For whatever reason I got stuck with this woman in her mid-50s who has been at the firm for more than 15 years. She spends her entire work day yelling — I mean, full on screaming — at her husband on the phone. I know it must sound like I’m making this up, but I swear this happens for hours every day. She has apologized to me about it, which in her mind seems to mean she can keep doing it. I have tried to give her hints these phone calls are disturbing my work, but I don’t feel comfortable bringing it up with her directly.
 
 When it first started, I was so embarrassed I had to leave my office. I understand that sometimes people have family issues they need to deal with, and I wanted to give this woman privacy. It’s happening so often, though, that I can’t just walk out of the office every time she picks up the phone, or I would never get anything done. I spoke to a more senior designer, who told me everyone in the firm knows this woman is a little crazy and inappropriate. I guess she just has this type of relationship with her husband. Who am I to judge?
 
 She doesn’t care that I’m listening either, but I can’t deal with it anymore. Apparently, these calls had been happening for a while before I even started at the firm, and no one really talks about it. I don’t want to get her in trouble, and I don’t want to get a reputation as someone who causes trouble, but I don’t know what my options are. To make matters worse, the fact that she works closely with my boss makes me think even if I bring the issue up, it will only make me enemies. College doesn’t prepare you to deal with this sort of thing. What can I do?
 
 Screaming for Help
 

Dear Screaming for Help,

 
 How frustrating! The really sad part is that I hear some version of this story far more often than you might imagine. Like you said, it is likely no secret your office mate is just about impossible to share an office with. In this sort of situation, where the employee has been with the firm for as long as your office mate has, there is usually some reason the firm cannot or will not fire them, but none of the other tenured employees are willing to share this either. I am sure she gets her work done, and this is just a personality quirk — it’s just the way she and the boss communicate. When things were slower, I am sure you had her own office, but now everyone has to double up. I am not saying it is right — in fact, I think it is idiotic — but chances are that’s how you ended up with this person in the first place. They could not stick anyone else with her, and you didn’t know any better.
 
 There is a silver lining here, though. I would be willing to bet that if the whole office is privy to your office mate’s lunacy, no one in HR will think you’re crazy or causing trouble when you go talk to them about this — and you will. One way or another you have to bring this up with HR or your supervisor. This situation is quite literally the reason the HR department exists — part of their job is to deal with those people in the office who have a screw loose, so you don’t have to.
 
 Some reasonable people might say that you should try to speak more directly with your office mate before running the issue up the chain of command. For what it’s worth, I am sure she doesn’t think there is anything wrong with what she’s doing. And yet, I am not one of those people, and I certainly don’t think that your situation calls for that sort of heart-to-heart. Plain and simple, your firm should not have put you in the position that you are in, and it’s the firm’s responsibility to fix it. Now, if you had been at the firm for a few years or were friends with this woman, I might say something different, but generally, I feel like it is the job of a company to put its employees in the best possible position to succeed. Clearly, you are not in this position.
 
 There are a couple of ways you can go about this process. Either you can raise the issue with the HR department directly, or you can go through a more senior employee at the firm. Which option you choose is mostly dependent on what you’re more comfortable with, although I will caution that if you bring up the issue with a senior, non-HR connected employee, there is a chance people might think you had someone else fight your battles. With that in mind, if you can go straight to HR, that’s what I would recommend. Send the head an e-mail saying you would like to speak to them generally about your first few months, and when you go in to meet with them, let them know that you were hoping to change offices. Do your best not to throw your office mate under the bus, but be firm and stand up for yourself. It’s too late to say you are allergic to her perfume (always a good one!), but why not just say she speaks very loudly on the phone? There’s no need to talk about the subject of her calls, especially since it seems like the whole office already knows what they are about.
 
 If you take anything from this experience it should be that as an employee it’s very important to advocate for yourself, and most companies generally respond well to employee requests and criticism — especially in those situations where making a change is good for business, too. If HR refuses to help you out or makes you feel like you’re being ridiculous, then start looking for another job. If this company can’t help you move offices, they sure as heck won’t care when you have a bigger issue.
 
 Stephen

 You can send your workplace questions to Stephen at: StephenSays@bellow.press.
 
 Questions selected to be answered, will appear in this column. Please use the Subject: Stephen Says for all emails. Stephen Viscusi is a bestselling author, television personality, and CEO of The Viscusi Group, global executive recruiters located in New York. Follow Stephen on Twitter @WorkplaceGuru. Like Stephen on Facebook; and follow him on LinkedIn.