"Left Behind" 02/03/16 Edition Stephen Says Column

Dear Stephen,

 
 Left Behind: 
 I’m in a bit of a tricky situation. During the last recession, a friend of mine got laid off from his sales job when his company went out of business. He’s a good guy and a great salesman, so I was happy to help him get a job at the contract furniture manufacturer I work for. They love him and gave me nice bonus for bringing him in too. We worked closely together and both of our sales numbers went up. When the VP of Sales moved jobs though, they promoted my friend over me, so now he’s my boss. I understand their decision--he has out-sold me every year since arriving--but it doesn’t make it any less disappointing or any easier to adjust. Any suggestions on how to deal with this sort of a situation?
 

 Stephen:

 I know getting passed over for a promotion can be tough, but the moral of that story will always be keep your head down and keep plowing away. Your situation is definitely more tricky than that although remembering that first bit of advice is crucial. After that though, here are five ways to make sure that working for your friend turns out well:
 1. Remember that they’re the boss now. Your friend has his own job on the line. He has to look out for himself, and you need to be responsible and make sure that you continue to do your job.
 
 2. Don’t flaunt your friendship to other employees. He may will need your loyalty, but you may not want peers in the same department even to know you have a personal relationship. It can get very tricky. They will resent it, and it will backfire on both of you. Don’t ask for special favors.
 
 3. Tell him you’re proud of him. Congratulate him first thing, and let him know that you want to see him shine. Ask what can you do to make his job easier and transition faster.
 
 4. Let your friend, now your boss, take the lead.  Wait for him to determine what his priorities are — your friendship or being the boss. After all, he is in the driver’s seat. Your opinion is fine, but he’s now the boss, and he’s calling the shots.
 
 5. Maybe, just maybe, give him a copy of your resume.  This would apply, even if the person who is the new boss were not your friend. Often we are at a company for a long time, and even our boss — new or not — really doesn’t know or remember our experience. Having an up-to-date resume at all times helps people understand how you have grown. (If you need a leg up consider working with certified resume writing services, and please remember to not save your resume on your work computer!) In this case, your friend may know your children’s birthdays and that your mother-in-law is a pain, but he may not know you have two master’s degrees and experience managing a team yourself from a previous job. The resume is subtle and key.

 You can send your workplace questions to Stephen at StephenSays@bellow.press. Questions selected to be answered, will appear in this column. Please use the Subject: Stephen Says for all emails. Stephen Viscusi is a bestselling author, television personality, and CEO of The Viscusi Group, global executive recruiters located in New York. Follow Stephen on Twitter @WorkplaceGuru, Like Stephen on Facebook; and follow him on LinkedIn.