"SOMEONE WON'T CONNECT ON LinkedIn? YES, IT IS PERSONAL!" - 02/20/19 Edition
Stephen Says Column
Dear Stephen:
I’m a textile sales rep and a very active business networker because it helps me grow my sales and eventually grow my career. As I meet clients and colleagues I regularly try to “connect” with them through my LinkedIn account and other social media which have become the best way to “network” with people. My goal is to stay in virtual touch with people I meet professionally to follow their success, promotions, jobs changes, etc. Clients sometimes post new projects or stories I find helpful for my own career. I have learned to use LinkedIn as a tool to learn about a customer or work colleague. It seems to give me an edge with building a better relationship with them. For example, after making a sales presentation I decided to check the client’s LinkedIn profile and discovered we graduated from the same college. I used that knowledge as an ice breaker to get to know the customer better and it has paid off in business. And my LinkedIn Profile is helping my own career because I have received two job calls because of people who read my profile.
Here is my question. I have a client who is a smart woman that I worked with on a project and figured we should stay in touch. We had a lot of other “mutual” connections on LinkedIn. So I clicked “Connect”. About 6 months went by and I forgot that I had tried to make the connection and then recently I went back to her LinkedIn profile for something and noticed that she and I were not connected. In fact, our connection was still “Pending”.
Frankly, I was sort of insulted. Even if someone does not check their LinkedIn every day professionals look at their LinkedIn at least occasionally. Not even once in 6 months? Come on? I am sure she saw it. She could have “Cancelled” me out but instead chose to I confess I am a big believer in “connecting at first sight” with people I meet.
leave me hanging in LinkedIn limbo. My connection request is marked “Pending”. My question is should I take it personally? Should I cancel out the request—or leave it pending? Or just outright ask this person why they have not connected with me yet? Tell me what you think.
Signed,
Pending on LinkedIn
Dear Pending:
You sound like a teenager who finds out a friend “unfollowed” them on Instagram or “unfriended” them on Facebook. Calm down!
Yes, networking is an important tool for anyone in business, but it is especially important for a salesperson. Today “virtual networking” through social media, is one important way that a network is extended and maintained. Kudos to you for recognizing this fact. That being said, it is easy to take “connecting” to an extreme. There is a fine line between working as savvy networker and becoming annoying to your customers, co-workers and even your friends. Just because you meet someone once or twice in a business setting or sales presentation does not mean they will want to “connect” with you on LinkedIn or any social media for that matter.
My advice for everyone is that it does not hurt to try! Before I answer your question directly, a longer story from me: Like you, I confess I am a big believer in “connecting at first sight” with people I meet. I’ll even connect with the guy standing behind me at McDonalds. Also like you, I do not always get everyone to connect on LinkedIn. I am often left in LinkedIn purgatory. I take it personally because I believe it is personal. The secret though is to not let it bother you. Just move on! Think of it just like when you get a “NO” on a sales call. You can’t anguish over it, you must go on to the next potential customer without a second thought. Just like a sales call though, don’t lose track of that customer, they could always change their mind.
I agree that this person must have seen your request. Sooner or later she may connect but, in the meantime, even if you see her for some reason, do not mention the LinkedIn thing. Leave it alone.
As a recruiter I have plenty of people who would rather die than connect with me. In fact the more important the title, the less likely I am to see them connect. That is until they lose their job, then suddenly they connect and I am their new best friend in the world. People respond to incentives and if they have no reason to connect with you, they might just not hit that big blue button.
Here’s the bottom line. For me it’s OK to “connect at first sight” but do not harass anyone who does not respond or treat them any differently. You’ll never know what the future will bring. As for those who tell you “don’t be insulted, I don’t connect with anyone on LinkedIn”; I believe these are the same people who tell me they never watch TV – Liars!
Stephen
You can send your workplace questions to Stephen at: StephenSays@bellow.press
Questions selected to be answered, will appear in this column. Please use the Subject: Stephen Says for all emails. Stephen Viscusi is a bestselling author, television personality, and CEO of The Viscusi Group, global executive recruiters located in New York. Follow Stephen on Twitter @stephenviscusi. Like Stephen on Facebook and follow him on LinkedIn.
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