"Can I Really Get Fired Over the Background of My Phone?" - 02/13/19 Edition
Stephen Says Column




Dear Stephen:

I work at a sales office in Colorado. Often, my group will travel to headquarters in the Grand Rapids area to get briefed on a new product, receive training or give a client tour. It is sometimes awkward because even though we are in the same region, I rarely spend time with the other reps, and I don't know them well. Recently, I was flying with a colleague to HQ, and I had an odd encounter I wanted to tell you about.

So, I am on the plane sitting next to my co-worker, and his phone was on the tray table next to me. I happened to take a quick glance over and saw the wallpaper/background pic on his phone looked vaguely like a wife or girlfriend, but the apps were blocking most of the picture. It was a four-hour flight so I figured I'd make some small talk, and I asked about the picture. My colleague turned to me and said it was not his girlfriend or his wife and that it was an image of Jesus Christ.

He then proceeded to show me the full lock screen and sure enough, there was Jesus! Needless to say, I was a bit surprised by this, but tried to cover my embarrassment with a profuse apology. This then quickly led to a conversation about his faith and religion.

Here is my question: What exactly is the protocol to use when setting your phone wallpaper? I am a Christian, and I hate to say it, but if I was one of his customers, and he put his phone down on my desk with Jesus Christ wallpaper, I might judge him. And what if it was a job interview? And instead of Jesus, what if it was a dog, cat or a provocative picture of his girlfriend in a bikini? Do I now have to worry about the wallpaper on my phone?

What do you think the deal is here?

Signed,

Another Thing to Worry About
 

Dear New Worry:

The wallpaper-on-your-phone question reminds me of the question I got 10 years ago about computer screensavers — but with an odd new personal element. It used to be if it was a company-owned computer, the company could have some sort of control or input on what the screensaver was. A phone is somehow different, even if the company is footing the bill. Maybe it's because a phone is so much more attached to us than a computer ever was, but it seems like the content of a phone is much more like the Wild West. I have seen some wacky things over the years.

Mostly you will see the standards: friends, pets, kids, family, sometimes a boyfriend or girlfriend. The truth is, even with these standard choices it is impossible not to form a judgement. Maybe somebody's wife is particularly hot or particularly ugly. Maybe their dog is adorable or that vacation they took to Greece seven months ago looked particularly beautiful (or expensive). The human brain naturally makes associations and judgments. There isn't much we can do to counteract this in ourselves.

Something that will also stick out to me is the person's app choices. You sure can get judgmental when you see apps like Tinder or Grindr or when you look at their choice for news. Even something as simple as my use of the McDonald's app is for some reason a running joke with the young people in my office (I call it app shaming).

Really, there is no way to escape this kind of technological exposure in the modern era. It is up to you to decide how you want to be perceived and the wrong choice can have consequences. Be careful and conscientious and make deliberate decisions and assume you will be judged harshly, as we see every day on social media.

As far as your wallpaper, if you are prepared to take the heat, then say "Yes, I know I will be judged and so what. So what if I love Jesus or Mohammed or my girlfriend or my cat — if you don't like it then do not buy from me or hire me or date me." Looking back, the questions I used to get about covering a tattoo during an interview now seem so lame since it's not even an issue any more. Our electronic stamp is like a tattoo would have been 10 years ago. You just need to learn to live with it and make choices that reflect your sensibilities. Trust me, people will judge you, yes even on your choice of the wallpaper — I guarantee it.

Stephen​
 

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Stephen Viscusi is a bestselling author, television personality, and CEO of The Viscusi Group,
global executive recruiters located in New York.
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