"My Coworker Stinks! Literally and Figuratively. What Can I Do About It?" - 11/14/18 Edition
Stephen Says Column
Dear Stephen:
We have a sales rep on our team who has terrible body odor. He literally smells like he never uses deodorant. The BO mixed in with synthetic fibers in his shirts and jackets make for a very unpleasant experience. What’s even worse is it has been going on for years, and no one, including his friends and colleagues and even management, has had the nerve to tell him. It’s not like this is some nature guy or someone who works out at SoulCycle and then comes directly to the office. He takes a shower every day and looks neat, but I guess he just doesn’t understand if you don’t use deodorant you smell disgusting.
We are all in outside sales so it is not only an issue in the office – he’s out at client meetings and presentations so who knows what they think of him. He is 45-50ish, and I wonder why no one’s ever said anything. We are all friends and like him except for this elephant-in-the-room issue.
I have seen letters from your readers about the woman who wears perfume that gives her co-workers head-aches, the young guys with their expensive/offensive body sprays and the person who always has bad breath. All these problems are amplified in the era of open plan benching systems vs. the old days where everyone had their own workstation. And now BO! Where do we go with this? We don’t want to hurt his feelings. I really think he does not know. To HR? Leave a can of deodor-ant on his desk? Help!
Signed,
Perplexed by BO
Dear Perplexed:
Yes, fragrances and bad orders floating in the air are more prevalent than ever today because of people sitting close to each other in open plan benching arrangements. I should mention there are two separate issues here, and they are very different. It’s a lot easier and less intensely personal to talk to someone about toning down their suffocating body spray or annoying cologne because you can say you are allergic, it gives you a headache or that particular smell just hits you wrong, than it is to tell a person they stink and have bad body odor. Consider that the person probably cannot smell the BO — it’s like smelling your own bad breath — most of the time you really can’t tell it’s bad. And, of course, you don’t want to hurt your colleague’s feelings. Also, it may not be as simple as using deodorant because they may be allergic to deodorant. Hey, if I cannot eat peanuts I assure you there is an allergy for everything today. Some people tell me a vegan or vegetarian diet may influence body odor or a medicine someone is taking may be the issue.
Here is the deal. If this problem is as bad as you say it is, then it is undoubtedly affecting the person’s career and the company’s client relationships. No matter how uncomfortable it is to talk about, this is a management issue. Although it could be passed on to HR, I believe the person’s direct manager has to address it. If you are the manager, you could say something like, “you know Frank, as your manager sometimes I have to say things to you that even your friends and family wouldn’t say, and I’ve noticed that there is an odd smell on your clothes I think you should look into. Maybe you have switched dry cleaners or are using a different detergent, or maybe it is something else, but I have to mention it to you because I don’t want it to affect your relationships with your office mates or even with your clients. This is just between you and me, but let’s fix it.” If you are not the manager explain it to your manager, and ask them to deal with it the way I describe, or make it easy and share this column with your manager. Let him or her use it as a cheat sheet on how to deal with this problem.
Stephen
You can send your workplace questions to Stephen at: StephenSays@bellow.press
Questions selected to be answered, will appear in this column. Please use the Subject: Stephen Says for all emails. Stephen Viscusi is a bestselling author, television personality, and CEO of The Viscusi Group, global executive recruiters located in New York. Follow Stephen on Twitter @stephenviscusi. Like Stephen on Facebook and follow him on LinkedIn.
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